Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall


Thoughts on Falling.


They say "Pride cometh before a fall"...but here's my take on it.


1.  There are two extremes to falling.  Either I fall in the midst of a big crowd of strangers...(always embarrassing especially when it comes to trying to get the rather rotund granny back on her feet again and assuring everyone the only thing broken is my pride.) 

2.  The second option is to fall at home with no one around which is exactly what I did the other day. 

   It was a typical evening, I was home alone, opened the pantry door only to have a ceramic salt shaker fall on the floor and break depositing salt all over the floor.  I thought about getting the vacuum cleaner to clean up the mess and if I had I wouldn't have fallen.  But no, I decided to sweep up the salt with a whisk broom and small dust pan...no problem.

The problem came while bending over to sweep the salt up.  I don't like to wear shoes in the house since it tracks in dirt and debris from the outside onto the hardwood floors and carpets.  I have slippers but they were upstairs in the bedroom and who wants to climb stairs to get them.  My feet are always cold so I walk around the house in my socks.

As I assumed the position  (as pictured) a strange thought came into my head.  Maybe I should have gotten the vacuum because I think my feet are starting to slip.  Two seconds later both feet started sliding on the hardwood floor in two different directions thus causing this non-athletic body to come crashing down into a very painful split landing full force on my already arthritic knees instead of my very well endowed backside.   

This was immediately followed by toppling forward into an elegant face plant on to the floor . I laid there for a few minutes assessing the damage and trying to untangle my legs gratified that there was no blood or limbs at strange angles ...but Oh Sweet Jesus there was definitely pain.  

What to do?  What to do?  I would have gotten up,  but my little scrawny pencil legs wanted no part in trying to push up my bigger than life buttocks. My cell phone was also in the next room.  So I " butt walked" into the Living Room where my two cats (delighted to see Mom on the floor) jumped on top of me and started giving me cat kisses and covering me with more cat fur ( since I obviously didn't attract enough from sliding on the floor from the kitchen to the Living Room in black pants.) 

After many minutes, lots of prayers, and determination.  I slid the recliner against the back wall, grabbed a pillow off the couch, and with great pain and an extraordinary push from my guardian angels was able to get on my swollen knees and bury my head in the recliner.  I was now in the prayer position and it seemed like I might be spending a considerable amount of time there so I called out to Jesus, the Holy Spirit (who communicates for us when there are no words) and to God the Father for help.  With the help of the trinity I finally managed to haul my derriere into the seat and to elevate my legs.  


So what did I learn from this experience? 1. Don't fall.  2.  If you are going to fall make sure your cell phone is in your pocket.  3.  Wear your shoes, you can always vacuum the floors. 4. Always get the vacuum cleaner . 5.  Time to start dieting and exercising to lighten the load and strengthen the leg muscles. 6.Prayer always works.  7.  Be fearless! 

  
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