Something to Think about!

You know you are a slave to your scale .....

I admit to being obsessive compulsive when it comes to weighing and diets. I know deep in my heart of hearts that weighing myself every day is not a good thing. Why should I allow a piece of metal determine my self worth?

I tell myself I do it so I can catch any slip up right away. That it will stop me from destructive behavior.

But as soon as I step on the scale the destructive behavior begins.

If the scale is up.....I'm down.
If the scale in down....I'm up.

Sad.....but true. It's almost like a crystal ball...." Tell me , am I allowed to like myself today?"

Whatever the number, my reaction is often to eat-to celebrate if the news is good and to comfort myself if the news is bad. Whenever I step on the scale, I give my power away. I'm either Rocky on a victory lap or a beached whale trapped on a sand bar.

I know that weighing myself on a daily basis is a form of insanity. I already know what I ate or didn't eat, whether I exercised or indulged in chocolate cake. I know if my jeans are snugger than they were or exactly the same as last week. So why do I go through this ritual dance of stepping on the scale and praying to the god of gravity to make the number less?

Every day I have the power to decide how I feel and how I choose to spend my day- I am allowed to like myself today. I belong here....to experience love, joy, peace, health and connection to people I love. Allow yourself to know what you already know!

Daisy Dilemma: If I know this....why don't I do it?

Note to Self

Becky and I had some interesting talks last night. Every thing from religion, to goals and personal responsiblity for my own happiness. I guess I've discovered that "people are as happy as they decide to be." I've definitely decided that I need to change some areas in my life and start doing some things just for me.

One thing I've decided to do is write or journal. I always start off well but allow other things to eat up my time. I need to be more disciplined and just write as an outlet. I did get two "List" books for Christmas that should give me some ideas of areas to write about. Note to self: Cut down on stupid reality shows and start living your own life!

I miss working out in a class with other women. I used to go sweat, huff and puff and do primal screams at the gym with Caroline, Joquin, Melanie and a bunch of sweet old ladies that I admire. They took my screams as enthusiasm! I should look into that this year. Note to self: Find a gym close to the house or work!

I love movies. It has been so much fun going to the movies with Beeks or renting movies to watch. Judi Phillips has told me that she will go to a movie with me. I really want to see "Phantom of the Opera" that comes out in mid January. Note to self: Make a movie date with Judi!

Our spending habits are out of control. I did have much more control of our finances when I was using the Crown Ministry principles. We want to fly to Canada to meet Jerry and his family and we want to be able to spend Christmas with the entire family in New York next year. In order to do either we need to begin systematically saving. Note to self: Sit down and make a new budget with Charlie and start recording our expentures.!

Well my brain is starting to hurt so I will stop with these few observations for now. I'm sure there are more "Aha" momments to come!

Reflections

I think my blog is well named....lazy daisy. It always reminds me of the child's game of pulling off one petal at a time saying, He loves me , He loves me not!. I always picture the daisy as dropping and bent and today I feel droppy and bent too!


Note to self:Do not put Spot out to do her busiiness ( no matter how cold it is, no matter if you are in your jammies, no matter how late it is or even if you don't have your bunny slippers on) without putting the tether on her. As there may well be a polecat outside that will not only spray her but the car also and you will be bathing the dog at midnight and your husband will be grumpy and mumbling things you don't want to hear and be mad for days.

Note to Self on being Sick: Do not eat anything that will be awful coming back up!

Note to Self on having anything on your desk with kittens in the House: Don't put anything on your desk that is breakable ....better yet don't put anything on top of the desk at all!

Note to my younger self: Bob McGee, your old boy friend, will lose his hair and his looks and begin to look like your dad.

So much for reflection!