Monday, July 14, 2008

Advice to my younger self.....


35 years ago today, at 1 p.m. I married my best friend and it's a decision I have never regretted. There were days when I didn't particularly like him, days when I could have easily killed him and told God that he died, but never a day that I didn't love him.

Here are some notes to my younger self that might have helped bridge some of the gaps had I been able to give myself some hints.......

1. Remember the odd habits that you find so endearing today will be the same odd habits that drive you nuts later on.

2. He will always have to tell you why a certain TV program could have never happened and will always find inconsistencies and errors....that's who he is....live with it.



3. There will always be "the little boy" in him that you will never understand.

4. Don't judge his "fatherhood potential" by the way he is in the labor room. He will actually be a great dad and loving husband.

5. He will always be there to hold your hand and tell you it will be alright....even when it isn't.

6. He will always be fiercely protective of his family.

7. Yes, he is a nerd, but you actually will grow to admire that in him and be attracted to intelligent people.

8. He is not you, and will never understand you, so don't expect him to.

9. Know that he will always be "overly prepared" for any potential disaster, will arrive early to any event and will want to leave way before you are ready to go.

10. You will have to gently remind him that vacations are worth the time and the money.

11. You will be glad that he is not a picky eater.

12. If you want a romantic getaway, be prepared to plan it in advance and clue him in on the details. It's not that he won't want to go....he just will never be able to plan it by himself.

13. Be prepared for surprises that he will bring you from garage sales. Remember, the time you said you liked wicker furniture? He will!

14. He will not be able to wait to surprise you with the gift he bought you for birthdays, Christmas, mother's day, valentines....(refer to #3).

15. Tell him how you want him" to react" before you tell him about your bad day, that way he will react like you want him to and both of you will be happy.

16. The older he gets the more sentimental he will get. When he asks you....Do you remember? He is not testing your memory but reliving the sentiment.

17. He will keep his hair (at least so far!)

18. He needs "Cave Time" to recharge and renew him. Don't take it personally.

19. He will never be able to multitask so learn to make him a list if you want it done.

20. He likes foreign languages and you must learn to smile sweetly when he uses the only phrases he knows to speak to people. He thinks it's endearing, humor him.

21. There will always be a bit of a procrastinator in him and don't be surprised to hear him say every morning...."Well, I need to get organized!"

22. He will forget many times that you are not "one of the guys". Remind him!

23. Don't press him for details, just be glad that he remember to tell you.

24. Be prepared to explain the behavior of "Your children" when they are misbehaving and glory in the achievements of "His children" when they have been praised or honored. Yes, I know they are the same kids, just know he thinks that all the "bad" genes came for you or your side of the family tree.

25. Know that behind all that Bravado is a very insecure and introspective man.

26. He will always love books, tools, and you. Hopefully not in that order.

27. Just because he doesn't talk about certain concerns doesn't mean that he isn't thinking about solutions in his head.

28. He is loyal to a fault and will have to be fired before he will leave. He will see this as a failure instead of a way that God will move him into the next stage of growth.

29. He is a hard worker, hard headed and will believe that if you don't get stitches ....then you aren't really hurt. He will push himself and will expect the same discipline out of you.

30. He will always love to teach and will take every opportunity to do so (even when you don't really want to know.)

31. He loves to tease and will hurt your feelings without ever really knowing that he did. (refer t0 #3)

32. He will always have a droll sense of humor that you will never understand and you will have to remind him that "if you have to explain it, then it really wasn't funny."

33. Praise him....love him....forgive him....build him up.

34. Know that he never tires of seeing you blush. (refer to #3)

35. Thank God every day for him and know you are blessed with a wonderful man.

12 comments:

Ladybug Crossing said...

Happy Anniversary!!
xo
LBC

Ramblins of a middle-aged goddess said...

Happy Anniversary to two of my bestest friends..Your card is on the way!!
I love your list!! so like mine might be if i had time to stop and think about it like you did. I kept having to remember what number 3 was!! smile. That is all so very very true!! After these 44 years I still do not understand Mike..but I don't have too...
Hope you have a great day and of course a fun upcoming trip.

Sandy

Linda said...

Happy anniversary!! You are so right. All those things I thought was cute when I first met hubby now drive me up the wall. Boy, I do a lot of deep breathing.

YellowRose said...

Awww!!! I love this beautiful, truthful and loving post of two very special people!! Happy anniversary!! What an example you are to your family and friends! Love you and miss you!!

Talk..to..Grams said...

I love your wedding picture!!

Your list was so sweet and truthful!!I loved it!

Happy Anniversay!! and a whole bunch more! I hope your day is filled with love and laughter! Love and hugs, Grams

Connie Barris said...

AMEN

AMEN

AMEN

Girl you so said it...

We are married to the same man.. hey??

Or are they all the same??

Happy Anniversary....

Praise our God...

Melli said...

*smile*

You two are so darned cute! I love how you love each other...

Happy Anniversary!

Carole Burant said...

Happy Anniversary to you and your hubby, dear Daisy! What's the old saying..."You can't live with them and you can't live without them"! lol Hope you're having a wonderful celebration...even if you had to plan it all and tell him what to do, etc. hehe xoxo

Susan said...

Perhaps you should now take each one of those statements and turn them into a chapter of helpful hints for younger brides. We just might see marriages last longer because of it.

Love you and Happy Anniversary.

:-) Susan

mompoet said...

What an adorable couple you were, and what a wise and loving couple you are now! (and still adorable) Happy 35th and congratulations!
mp

Jennifer said...

Happy Anniversary to two of my very favorite lovebirds. You are both special to me and very much loved!! ((hugs))

Unknown said...

How sweet. I hope your anniversary was wonderful!

 
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