Monday Memories...Child Wisdom!

Mr. Wonderful is an ordained minister and has preached many wonderful sermons. He has preached in many small churches where there is no nursery and has competed with noisy children, sleeping parishioners, and crying babies. He can take all this in stride and never lose his patience or train of thought as long as it is not one of our children that is making the commotion.

We were visiting a church in Dickinson, North Dakota. I was nine months pregnant with our son and our girls were 2 and 4 years old. Being a wiggler when I grew up, I had several items to keep the girls quiet and entertained during the service.

The children of this congregation were allowed to run in the aisles of the church and none of the parents seemed to mind or even pay attention. I could see that Mr. Wonderful was distracted and growing annoyed at the children's antics.


As the sermon progressed, our Suzy ( a terrible 2) suddenly decided to stand up on the pew and flirt outrageously with the people behind us. This did not go over well with a dear ole dad who promptly turned her around and sat her down on his lap. Suzy decided that this was a good game so popped right back up. This up and down behavior continued several times and I finally heard the dreaded words that all of our children hated to hear. "If you do that one more time, I'm taking you outside."

Being taken outside meant that that punishment was close at hand. All our kids knew that "being taken outside" was not for fresh air! Usually, the threat was enough to bring the desired obedience but it wasn't working that day with Miss Suz. She apparently thought that the show she was creating was far too much fun or that dear ole dad wouldn't fall through with the threat.

Always one to push the limits, Miss Suzy continued to smile and flirt with the amused people behind us until Mr. Wonderful grabbed her up, threw her on his shoulder, and started walking in a stern manner toward the door. Mr. Wonderful was embarrassed that His children were the ones causing a disturbance. Suzy instantly knew she had pushed dad too far and started pleading, wildly....."I'm sorry Daddy, I'll be good, I'll be good!"


Seeing that her pleading had no effect on Dad and also seeing people were starting to chuckle at the sight, Suzy went for the big guns. She imploringly looked at the entire congregation and said in the most dramatic voice of a two-year-old, "YOU ALL PRAY FOR ME!"

Her pleading statement sent the entire church into gales of laughter and embarrassed Mr. Wonderful who couldn't get Suzy out the door quick enough. The pastor picked up on the situation and said, "What that man is doing is Biblical and right. We need to teach our children to respect God's house and many of you need to follow his example."

What was your most embarrassing church story?