Mother's Day Letter

 May 6th,2021

Happy Mother’s Day.  This is your weekly memory letter from your Tennessee daughter Kathy.  My favorite recent memory of you was being able to come to see you last month.  It made our day to see you, hold your hand, kiss your cheek and hug you. It also made my face light up the second day when they brought you into the living room and you said to the assistant, “Oh look, it’s my Girls!”  My heart danced and I’m sure I had the silliest smile ever.  I know you don’t remember that day, but    Momma I will never forget it.  I think it’s what we call a “God Wink”.

Mother’s Day was always special at our house.  Dad would always get us girls' corsages.  On Mother’s Day, the carnations would be red because you and your mother were living. Dad would have a white carnation boutonnière because Nanny had passed away.  We all went to church and because it was Mother’s Day, (Not Kid Day), Dad made it a point that we all sit together with you.  We always went out to eat so you wouldn’t have to cook that day.  Bobbie and I would make you a gift like the beautiful cork earrings we made from a kit.  We took a straight pin and put colored beads on them, and Bobbie would press them into the cork. She glued the decorated cork to earring backings. They probably weighed a ton and were tacky, but you told us that they were beautiful and wore them anyway.  Dad would buy a special dessert from the grocery store and always had a gift for you.  He made Bobbie wrap it.  We always had Mother’s Day cards for you too.  You had a variety of homemade cards and gifts from your adoring girls. I miss not being able to sit beside you in Church.  I know that   Bobbie and Joe will be so happy to be able to take you again.

Charlie and I always enjoyed going to your Ladies' Sunday School class at Thalia Lynn Baptist Church in Virginia Beach.  Charlie always said he was just one of the girls.  The other ladies were so gracious and made us feel very welcome.  You were a greeter at Church for 25 years Mom.  You would go early, and welcome visitors to the church and take them to whatever Sunday School classes they were looking for or to the Nursery.  You always had a warm inviting smile and would welcome everyone as they came through your door.  I also remember the deacons would come out and hold umbrellas over the head of the ladies and kids if they were dropped off at the door during the rain.  We would leave after Church when we came to visit because Sunday was always a special time of the week.

When we came to visit you. You always insisted on giving us gas money which was always way too much and made us promise to call you when we arrived safely.  It was such a special way to say I love you.

I love you, Momma.  You have blessed my life in more ways than I can ever express.  Your memory might fail you, but your stories are safely tucked in my heart and passed on to your grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

 

Love You….Kathy

 

Letters to Mom

Letters to Mom, March 28, 2021

Dear Mom,  This is your memory letter from your daughter Kathy, in Tennessee.  Barbara told me that she was able to come inside and see you, hug you, and hold your hand.  I am very jealous and miss you so much.  She has graciously offered us her guest room to come see you.  We are thinking of making the trip sometime after Easter.

 Here is my Memory.  "I am a people pleaser.  I'm sure it started in childhood with the desire to please you and Dad. I also wanted to please Bobbie so she would play with me.  Probably the best way to explain this principle is the story of "Why I touched a Bumblebee!" I touched a bumblebee one day because we were outside playing with some neighbor kids and Bobbie told everyone that she was brave.

   Not wanting to be left out of the conversation, I announced to her and to our friends that I was brave too.  Bobbie immediately told me again that I was not brave.  I countered with, "Yes, I am!"  She continued to taunt me by saying, "I bet you wouldn't touch a bumblebee."

    I might not have been so quick to declare my bravery if I had seen the bumblebee on a nearby flower (as my older sibling had also told me that when you are stung by a bumblebee you have 10 seconds to remove the stinger  or you die!)

    So not to disappoint my sister I bravely went where no man has gone before and touched the bee.  Surprise!  It stung me!  My sister, (always my cheerleader in acts of stupidity) began to declare to the neighborhood kids that I was the bravest of the brave.  As she chronicled my deed of bravery I slowly began to count. (One, one thousand, two, one thousand, three, one thousand) .  I think I was up to eight of nine with death on the horizon before she detected my panic dance of death and pulled out the stinger.

   You would have thought that I learned a valuable lesson that day...(maybe I have, looking back over the event now.)  I am not so trusting as I once was.  I have found that I don't have the time or the desire to be anyone other than me.  I have decided that life is too short for anything other than comfortable shoes.  One size fits all is a myth. Look, before you leap is great advice.  I am not brave and a bumblebee will sting you if you touch it.  As for my big sister, I still want her approval and attention.  Lord help me if she dares me to display my stupidity in some other way.  You know I will....right after her!  

   I hope you enjoyed this story mom.  I am sure you never knew about this encounter other than putting baking soda on my bee sting.  Bobbie and I had stories that we used against each other to keep from getting into trouble.  She would say, " if you tell mom, I will tell her about the time you..."  Point, counterpoint, we maintained a fine balance of power.

   One thing that all three of your girls agree on is our love and prayer for you.  We pray for you every single day and can't wait to see your again and hug you, and hold your hand.  Love you, Mom.  Your daughter Kathy

Your 3 very different daughters

Letters to Mom                                                          March 13,2021

Dear Mom, this is your weekly memory letter from your daughter, Kathy, the one that looked like Dad. 

 Barbara is your firstborn.  I called her Bobbie when I was young.  I remember Saturday nights you would put "Bobbie pins" in our hair to make it wavy for church the following morning. I used to think that was the reason I called her Bobbie.  Much later you rolled our hair with clips, and I remember calling them "Kathy pins" and thinking I was just as glamorous as my sister.  When I was 14, baby sister Beverly arrived, and again I had another sister who always took center stage.

The three of us are entirely different. Bobbie is beautiful and smart.  She made straight As in all of her classes and was a member of the National Honor Society.  She was a debutant and was presented to society at the debutante ball.  My beautiful brainy sister could be quite scatterbrained at times like the day she drove the car to High School with her girlfriends and that afternoon rode home on the bus because she forgot she drove that day.  Needless to say, her girlfriends were not amused waiting by the car for an hour before she remembered and got a ride from a teenage boy back to the high school to pick up her friends.

I was not the smart one unless it was something I really liked.  You and Dad gave me a lecture, "I don't care what grade you make as long as it is the best of your ability, but don't you dare bring home less than a C".   I made up my mind that if you were happy with a "C" that was my goal.  I will admit to also being the lazy one and came very close to failing many subjects, but through frantic prayer, and tutoring from Bobbie I could somehow manage a C minus.  You and dad were always disappointed, but I always thought and chuckled to myself, "If you only knew how close to failing, I actually came you would be congratulating me right now!"  

 I was "everybody's buddy" but definitely didn't stand out in the crowd.  I played a tenor saxophone in Junior High and was in band and orchestra and still can't really read music to this day.  I got a pity date to Prom 3 days before the event, and you were upset that I didn't give you enough time to make my dress.  I was just thrilled to be invited and go out with my friends. All my high school friends were in the Honor Society, and I was just thrilled to graduate.

Baby sister Beverly was a big surprise to all of us.  We got to name her as long as you and Dad agreed to the name.  Bobbie and I pitched out our favorite girl names only to have someone else in the family say, "I knew a girl with that name, and I hated her."  Bobbie wanted to name her Joy, but Dad vetoed the name.  He said, "Girls named Joy were usually sweet or terribly misnamed and he didn't want to take his chances on the name."  We finally settled on the name Beverly because the only Beverly we knew we all liked.  Barbara's middle name is Leigh, so she wanted Beverly's middle name to be Lynn so they would have the same initials.  So here I am stuck in the middle with Barbara Leigh and Beverly Lynn.  It's tough to be a Janet Kathleen.

Baby sister Bev is an island all her own.  She is very different from Bobbie and me and basically grew up as an only child.  She has a very strong personality and either loves you or hates you with very little sway in between.  She is your best friend Mom, and a strong advocate for you.  She has a temper like your father (our grandfather Carden) and feels things very deeply.  She called you daily when you lived in Virginia Beach and would call me if she couldn't reach you insisting that I drive 4 hours to your house and comb the streets to find you.  She was never married and would come home for several weeks in October on vacation from United Airlines to cook and freeze individual meals for you, clean out your closets, organize the attic, and the linen closet, throw away accumulated magazines and newspapers and do yard and garden work.  You fussed that you could never find anything after she left but it was an amazing gift for all of us when it came time for you to leave Virginia Beach and move to Alabama to be with Bobbie and Joe in your own cabin across the street from her.

So, Mom, that's us, (Brains and Beauty) (Fun and Fabulous) and (Fire and Ice) your 3 very different daughters that adore you, pray for you daily, and would love to see you and hug you.  Hope you enjoyed the stories and will write more next week.  

Your Daughter Kathy

This picture is of Lyra Jane your great-granddaughter.  She just completed 100 days of kindergarten with a little old lady photo.  It made me laugh and I thought you would get a chuckle from it.

Letters to Mom

Dear Mom,                                                                             January 25,2021

Hello from Tennessee.  This is Kathy, your middle daughter writing you.  It is a cold rainy day today and really nice to stay inside.  I am writing this on my computer while drinking some hot tea and listening to Christian music.  Our little dog Oreo is asleep in his bed next to me all warm and snuggly.

   Your great-grandsons Oscar (12), Charlie (10), and Henry(8) love to play board games.  I taught all of them how to play Parcheesi.  I told them it was a game you learned to play as a child and that you were a really great player.

    I told them how you love to build blockades and made everybody wait for you to break them.  I told them that you were very good at rolling fives to get on the board and how you always knew where to put your players without having to count all the spaces after you rolled.

   I also told them that I played this game with my grandmother (your mom) (their great-great-grandmother) when I was their age.  She always won but never made me feel bad.  My grandsons have favorite colors.  Little Charlie loves red, Henry loves green, Oscar takes blue so I am always yellow.  I remember coming home one evening and you were playing all 4 colors by yourself.  I asked you, “Who’s winning?”  You just smiled and said, “Well I am! Of course!”

   I recently saw an old black and white Christmas picture of Bobbie and me playing    Parcheesi at grandmother’s house one Christmas Day while we were still dressed in our pajamas.  Bobbie and I had gotten a child-size card table ( Red and White) for Christmas.  Again, I was losing but didn’t mind because Bobbie was actually playing with me.

   You were amazing at throwing doubles in the game and always zipped around the board before I could get a single player out.  You were ruthless when it came to sending someone back to their home place.  You would get mad at me much later on in life when I had the chance to send you home but didn’t.  I would tell you that I chose to “extend mercy” and not take you home.  Actually, I really didn’t want the game to go on any longer than it needed to be since I was already losing!     

    It broke our hearts when you lost your vision and couldn’t play any longer.  I know you enjoyed the fellowship of your card games with other ladies in the church.  Your great-granddaughter Emma just turned 14 years old.  She had an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen for her birthday.  I told her about the time you bought an ice cream cake for your best friend Violet Elliott’s birthday and planned to serve it for dessert after the card game but you got distracted by a phone call and left the ice cream cake in the garage on top of the washing machine instead of the freezer in the garage.  She laughed and said that could happen to anyone.  Emma still has fond memories of you and asks about you whenever we speak.

I hope this brought you some sweet memories for you.  Charlie and I love you and pray for you every day.  We miss you so much and pray for the day when we can visit you.                                                 

 Love,   Kathy

  

Flashback to Childhood

I am now 71 years old and you may want to know what I was like as a child, the things I did, and the games I grew up with. 

This game" Cootie"  was a favorite game of mine.  I got the game when I was about 5 years old.  Each part of the Cootie had a numerical value and you would roll the die to get the parts you needed.  1...1 body, 2...1 head, 3...  1 mouth, 4... 2 antennae, 5... 2 eyes, 6...6 legs  If you already had the body part you lost your turn and hoped you would roll a 6 the next time.  The winner was the first person to complete the "Cootie".

One of the first toys I remember was this music box that had creepy clowns on it.  It played "Pop Goes the Weasel" and a clown would pop out.  I never realized till much later that the clown would always pop up at a certain part of the song and I was always terrified when it popped up.  I think this is one reason that Diva is very skittish to this day.  I will always jump at scary movies or when I think Poppa doesn't see oncoming traffic and we are all going to die.  Fortunately, Poppa knows that when I jump there is a reason and will start breaking.  I jump long before I can tell him why. I do not like Clowns to this day either. 

One of the first dolls I got for Christmas was called "Tiny Tears Doll"  Her eyes would open and shut and when you gave her a bottle of water she would wet her pants.  I have never been a big doll lover like my sister Bobbie.  She always kept her dolls in pristine condition on her bed. I always dragged mine around half-dressed and dirty from playing in the sandbox with me.  I was intrigued with the doll's eyes and in my medical observations I accidentally punched out one eye on Christmas Day.  I called her Winky after that!

This was always one of my favorite toys.  I love color, and designs and the Kaleidoscope was endless entertainment.  It had pieces of plastic color shapes and when you twisted the bottom part there would be a new design.  I spent hours watching the new design.  It was a good toy to take in the car to keep me entertained.

 

My Dog Spot

This fuzzy, furry friend is my dog Spot!

Mary Englebright says, "Everyone needs their own Spot.....and I quite agree.

Spot is 13 years old.....a teenager in some cultures, an old lady in dog years.

This is Spot's favorite place...the back of the couch where she keeps an eye on the neighborhood and especially the driveway.

Spot found us over ten years ago.

One morning after a bad thunderstorm we woke to find two dogs taking refuge on our porch. The streets were flooded the dogs were wet and hungry. " Don't feed those dogs.",.said my all-knowing husband. He could have been talking to the wind.....anything on my porch (two legs or four will get fed). The water finally subsided the dogs disappeared and we thought to ourselves, "Good, they've found their way home."

The next morning one wet and shivering Spot sits on our porch looking like a drowned rat. "Don't bring that dog inside," said Mr. voice of reason. "He's freezing Mom," says Suzy (in July? I don't think so) But sooner than you can say "We have a new dog, isn't she cute?" The dog is bathed, brushed, blown dry, and given a name.

We did try to find the owner.....really we did! After about a year though she was very firmly entrenched into the family when one day one of Becky's friends looks at our dog and say, "I know that dog, she belongs to my neighbor."

"No she doesn't", we protest".....I'm sure it was another dog that looked similar."

We had decided at this point they would have to describe every freckle, spot, or blemish the dog had to get her back. Crisis passes.....if it was their dog they are content to know she has a good home now. (Whew, I would have hated having to move just to protect my dog!)

Spot is now aptly named as she "leaves Spots" on the carpet or bathroom floor.

She loves us with all her little dog heart. She is always at my feet unless the kids are home and are up late. We have had her longer than any other pet. She is the guardian of secrets, the "big dog" amidst the cats, and our instant doorbell.

She loves licking out yogurt containers and getting into the trash.

She loves to be anywhere you are (except the vet). Charlie calls her an old lady. My mom sneaks bacon to her and the cats give her a wide berth when she comes in the door.

She is the closes thing I know to unconditional love on four feet.

Yep, Everyone needs their "own Spot".