I've been taking a course in crisis care and this is what I've learned.
When in Crisis , Find good friends who....
- Don't shock easily, but accept your feelings and are not embarrassed by your tears.
- Do not give unwanted advice.
- Are warm and affectionate with you according to you needs.
- Help you recall your strengths when you have forgotten you have strengths.
- Trust you to be able to come through this difficult time.
- Treat you like an adult who can make your own decisions.
- May become angry with you but do not attack your character.
- Respect your courage and sense of determination.
- Understand that grief is normal and understand the stages of grief.
- Have been through times of difficulty and can share those times with you.
- Try to understand what your feelings mean to you.
- Are faithful to commitments and promises.
- Pray with you and for you.
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58 comments:
Friends like this are hard to find, come along once in a blue moon, but are worth every effort to keep... they are priceless.
God fulfills all these criteria and is number one on my list of friends.
Friends like this are like rare pearls...you have to really work hard for one. You have to look hard and keep searching for them but when you do find one, it is so worth the hard work! So glad I found a pearl! ;o)
Love ya Daisy! *hugs to you*
we all need friends like this.Or many friends who can all together be like this... Happy TT, mine is up!
You have such great ideas for posts, this is really good, it made me want to call my friends!
You're right my friend. Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by doubling our joy and dividing our grief. A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.
Friends like this are few and far between, my best friend moved to another country and I doubt I will ever be able to replace her.
Happy TT day.
YOU seem like you'd be a great friend to turn to in a time of crisis. Sounds like you're getting great training. ;)
I hope you don't have any crisises!
Great list of advices. Thanks for sharing it.
Have a pleasant day.
I agree...and most especially the one about 'unwanted advice'...it's so annoying to receive and I'm sure others don't appreciate it either.
Great stuff!
My T T is published
That is some great stuff right there! Maybe we should all take this course, actually maybe it should be a required course in high schools. Start em young, I say! Drill it in now and maybe the world could/would be a better place!
Those are some great points!
What a GREAT reminder!!
I think when people are in crisis this is exactly what they need, someone who understands and can listen with out judging. What a great list.
great list as always--- i seriously mean you are my favorite stop, always. :)
Good to know I'll have good friends in a crisis. :)
I think #3 is so important. Unfortunately its not always provided from those we need it most from.
Thanks for visiting my TT. Happy Thursday!
what a great TT...we all need friends like that..
I think you'll do great. Enjoy the course.
The one about not giving unwanted advice (#2) should be a rule for some blog readers!!
My list is up.
Great advice and very helpful.
I'll bring my daisy unbrella next time.
I have some lunacy going on at my place.
Well look at you!!! Doing the Mr. Linky thing all by yourself! I'm so proud. You go girl. And another fabulous list as usual.
I am SO thankful to have friends like this. It is such a blessing. When our son died a friend gave me a framed picture with these words, "Friends double the joy and divide the sorrow". That is absolutely true.
Yellowrose and I missed you at lunch but we had a great time. You have got to come down this way again soon!
My list is up.
Those are all great things especially the last one.
Thanks for sharing what you have learned..
Your template is adorable btw.. I love the falling daisies .. way too cute!
Great list :) I'm up!
Great list....kind of a tall order, though, but still fantastic! BTW, your blog is beautiful!
I like the first one.
pvtB)fs
So many pearls in that list!!
Thanks for visiting my site:) (and, of course, your encouraging comments!)
I especially loved the last one. I will NEVER forget what you told me in the car....that when you felt like something was wrong on my end, you thought about me and prayed for me. I can't think of a greater thing to do for someone, and I felt so honored and loved to be in your prayers.
Miss you, Mom!! ((HUGS))
Great list. I'm sure there are quite a few things you could find in a friend that has some qualities that are listed.
I agree with everyone else who said it is so important to have friends like this. What a great list!
Great idea for a TT. I like to look for friends with these qualities but they are very hard to come by...
Very interesting list! :)
We really learn which of our friends are gold in times of crisis, don't we. I'm so grateful to have a few friends who fit this criteria. Especially lately.
I aspire to be that type of friend.
Thanks for sharing.
My won list is up.
Take care,
Frances
I have a couple of friends who fill all those slots! And I concider myself to be very blessed and fortunate to have them! This is a great list LD!
Thanks for stopping by mine!
I don't care so much what they say, or even if they say it wrong, I just need to have them show up. The silent friend who stands with you at the cemetery or the hospital is better than the one who can only sit for 5 minutes but has all the words right.
My TT is up.
These are good guidlines for being a good friend and for being a supportive family member too!
My 13 are also posted. Come see me!
Cool list! Thanks for all that information...I love things like that. My TT is up..BTW if you have a linky that says **you**..it's me...linky is taking a while to figure me out today!
What a great list!!! Good words to remember. I can relate to so many of them. Thanks for stopping by!
thanks for dropping in -
I don't think I am good in other ppls crisis situations. I tend to not know what to say or do....unless they have blood dripping from any part of their body, then I can do something...I guess I can handle the physical, but the mental is something I am unsure how to treat.
I agree friend like this are rare. You always have good inspirational 13's :)
What a great list!
So true, so inspirational.
may we all be blessed with friends like what you described, crisis or no.
great, informative list. thanks!
my TT is up.
A course in crisis care? Sounds interesting. This is a fabulous list and really helps me think about what kind of friend I want to be.
I met a stranger once who helped me through a hard time. He sold Belgian chocolates. My friend introduced him to me while I was having a hard time. He made a list for me on good things that I should do for myself such as eating a balanced meal with veggies and going on walks and writing positive things about me on paper! He made me feel sooo much better! :)
I read this earlier and thought I commented on it. This list is full of good advice, not only in crisis but in life.
Thanks for reading my list.
I do have a friend like this. She is my sister from another mother!
We help each other through times good and bad.
Hello friend, My TT are up. It took me awhile because I was at the Roberts today from 7:30 am till almost 2:00..those babies are something else..miss you..
What a great list. Especially: "Do not give unwanted advice" & "prayer"...
Great list!! I'm going to share it will all of my close friends.
Wonderful list! :) Friends are great!
It is so hard to find people like that. If you have one you have to hold onto them and nurture that relationship. I am thankful to have my husband who is my best friend. Other than that I haven't found such a person. Thanks for visiting today! Be Blessed!
Veru true and useful!!!!
Hey There, Daisy! You are a pretty amazing sounding lady! Thanks for an inspiring 13.
Thanks for your nice comments at my blog. I agree we should be great friends!
Have a great evening!
Carol
I have had a very good friend in a crisis, and as much as I tried to be everything she needed, she also needed things she never expressed. Instead of telling me, she became bitter and angry and accused me of not being the kind of friend to her that she was to me. It was a vindictive situation all around.
Recently, another friend of mine was told by a third party that she hurt a mutual friends' feelings by being supportive. So once again, the person who was trying to be there for someone is being harshly judged by what they were able to provide.
I think each individual has different coping skills in a crisis, and it's really hard to expect everyone to be everything you need, so it's also a great idea to know this if you're the one in crisis - not to expect perfection from who you choose to turn to, because they are giving all they know how to give, and that has to be okay.
It just stinks to see friendships fall apart over things like this.
Wonderful thought provoking 13, as always!!
xo
What a wonderful list...and I'm so very blessed to have many wonderful friends in my life.
What a wonderful list. We should all strive to have those qualities.
LBC
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