OK, so it doesn't rhyme! But if the truth be known words are more hurtful and tend to form your self-image.
Today in a conversation with Mr. Wonderful, I remembered the frustration of my dad trying to teach me a math concept that I couldn't master. He tried many different ways to explain and even used coins to help visualize the concept without any "light bulb" moment of insight on my part.
Finally, in a moment of sheer exasperation he said, " Well, I guess you'll just be in the third grade for the rest of your life! I adored my dad and unbelievably these are the words I still remember some 50 years later despite having a college degree and being a health care professional.
Recently my son received some hurtful words from a family member. They were words from a person who has had very little input into his life and quite frankly doesn't know him well enough to correct his behavior. He was hurt and surprised as they came in the form of a Christmas card (so much for peace on earth and goodwill toward men!)
Being a preacher's wife, I have been blessed with having a short memory and thick skin. The Lord has removed a lot of stinging comments from my memory and fortunately, I rarely know when I'm insulted. I don't look for insults (who wouldn't want to be my friend?) don't expect insults (I expect the best out of everyone) and have come up with the following criteria for handling insults.
1. Is there any truth to what the person has said?
2. Have I been thoughtless or careless with my words?
3. Have I carelessly joked or teased about an issue that is sensitive to that person?
4. Consider the source of the complaint? Is this someone who is significant in my life? Is this someone who has earned the right to speak into my life?
Now I have a new problem.... overzealous protectors. Sometimes when I choose to extend grace in a situation I have friends and family who pick up the gauntlet and try to defend me. I'm hoping this is the situation that occurred with my son but I will let some time pass to defuse the bomb and confront the offender quietly, personally and face to face.
Daisy Dilemma: How do you handle conflict? Do you drop the bomb and run or do you enjoy confrontation?
