Somethings Just Can't Be Fixed

This one is for the fixers. 

The women who automatically want to rush in make everything and everyone better. 

The women who take responsibility for others’ actions and feelings. 

The women who, without thinking, have this urge to clean up everyone else’s messes. 

I know you’re running on fumes at this point. I know you replay scenarios over and over again and I know how hard you are on yourself when you can’t wave a magic wand and make everything better. 

I know you feel like a failure because you couldn’t save them. 

I know you’re exhausted and you’re hurt because even though you are giving your all, it doesn’t feel like enough.

I know you have been conditioned to believe that being a good person means you have to be a helper, a constant giver and a life-saver to all, but can I be brutally honest for a moment? 

You aren’t water. 

You aren’t oxygen. 

You aren’t Jesus. 

It’s impossible for any single person to be what everyone needs in every situation all the time. You are going to let people down. You are going to disappoint. You are going to lack from time to time. You’re going to lack energy. You’re going to lack time. And sometimes you’re going to lack the wisdom.  

You are going to have to understand that life happens. Sometimes things just suck and the best you can do is hold an umbrella over their head when a storm rushes in overhead from out of nowhere. There no such thing as saying the perfect thing, or doing the perfect thing. Clouds linger sometimes and the rain falls and all we can do is be there for each other and hold each other tight. Their storm is not your fault. 

And you’re also going to have to understand that sometimes people create their own storms and chaos and you can’t always stop them. You can love them unconditionally, but dear one, if they’re going to change, it’s going to be because they decide they want it. If they’re going to heal, it’s going to be because they decide they want it. You can lead them to love, but you can’t make them drink. Again, their storm is not your fault. 

There is nothing more beautiful in life than walking together, helping each other through the rough patches and sticking close when bad weather rises. There are few things as life-giving  as serving each other. But you do have to rest too. You do have to take breaks and you do have to step away sometimes, and just…let them, especially if their tornado is tearing you up. 

It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It doesn’t mean you’re lacking as a human. It means you are simply human—an imperfect being with needs, wants and a life of their own to live. A soul of their own to keep pure and a heart of their own to protect. 

Do what you can. 

Always. 

Love with everything within you. 

But set down some of the bags you’re carrying and give yourself a break before you break. 

You’re not responsible for everything and everyone. Some stuff has to be on them. 

Love,

Amy